True Gryffindor
by Prankoholic
Summary: Musical fic based on Disneys' Hercules. Will Sirius become a true Gryffindor and win that important Quidditch game?
1. Chapter 1

_Gryffindor have always been known for their incredible quidditch skills, loyalty and lack of respect for the rules. But the boy who gave all these characteristics a face was Sirius. But what is the measure of a true Gryffindor, that's what this story is-_

"Would you listen to her?" Marlene interrupted, and very rudely so too. "She's making the story sound about as interesting as cardboard"  
"Lighten up, Prankoholic!" said Dorcas.  
"Why don't we take it from here?" Lily asked, although she wasn't really asking.  
_Fine if you want this fic to turn out all bananas then suit yourself!_  
"Well, why don't we introduce ourselves?" Lily suggested. "I am Lily and these are my friends Dorcas and Marlene, and were here to tell you a little story about a prat in our class-"  
"Now Lily this story is for praising him for what he did in our first year!" Marlene pointed out.  
"You mean sneaking into the girls' dorm and covering our faces with gum? Or that time when he made our shower spurt ketchup? Nope, I honestly won't miss him!" Lily crossed her arms and looked away.  
"He's not dead but anyway. Our story doesn't begin with Sirius 'though" said Dorcas.  
Music begins:  
(Tune: Gospel Truth I)

**Dorcas:  
**_Back when we girls were new  
And Gryffindor was down on its luck  
'Cause Slytherin won every single match since our team sucked_

**Lily:**  
_They played some nasty games  
They made a mess wherever they aimed_  
_Yet they broke every single rule, it was a bloody shame_

**Marlene: **_But then along came James!  
_**Dorcas:**_He flew his Cleansweep 3  
_**Marlene:**_He soared!  
_**Dorcas:**_Showed those suckers who are we!  
_**Marlene:**_And scored!  
_**Dorcas:**_And on his own stopped Slyther's winning plans  
_**All:**_And that's the quidditch truth  
_**Marlene:**_The guy was in and that's how it began_

**Dorcas:  
**_And that was his first match  
James tamed those quaffles while in his youth  
_**All:  
**_Though honey it may seem impossible  
That's the quidditch truth  
Back in the common room life was neat and smooth as sweet vermouth  
Though honey it may seem impossible  
That's the quidditch truth_

But halfway through the Hogwarts Quidditch tournament James had been viciously hit by a bludger and thus he couldn't play for the rest of the year. Therefore, they had had an audition for a new chaser and it turned out Sirius wasn't all without talent either. After another successful game for Gryffindor, Sirius was relaxing in the most comfortable chair in the commonroom while some girls were pealing grapes for him.  
Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore stopped by to congratulate him.  
"You played well today" said McGonagall. "I saw it in you right when you were being sorted! I thought: Now there's a boy that is good at quidditch!"  
"No you didn't" said Dumbledore, his mouth full of grapes. "You said: Now there's a boy who might suck all my blood out if I don't watch my step"  
"You shut up now"  
Anyway, the entire house all had a good time when suddenly it appeared that a Slytherin had found his way into their commonroom.  
"Why hello, Severus!" said Dumbledore. "Want some grapes?"  
"Aren't you gonna ask how I got in here?"  
"Aren't you gonna say: Yes please sir I'd love some!"  
Snape rolled his eyes and went to Sirius.  
"So, Black. Word has it your quite a flyer"  
"Word has it you're quite ugly"  
"Word has it you're uglier!"  
"…No it hasn't"  
"Boys, please" said McGonagall. "Let's not argue now. And Mr Snape, you are more than welcome to join the celebration. As you can see we even have some Ravenclaws with us"  
"No thanks, I gotta go plot some evil plans"  
And with that, Snape stormed off to the Dungeons.

"If there's one guy you don't want to get steamed up, it's Snape" said Lily.  
"'Cause he had an evil plan...ooga booga booga!" Dorcas wiggled her fingers.  
Music begins:  
(Tune: Gospel Truth II)

**Marlene:  
**_He runs the dungeons  
He's known to be both dull and uncouth  
He is as mean as he is greasy  
And that's the quidditch truth  
He has a plan to brew things up  
And that's the quidditch truth_

"Avery!" Snape yelled as he sat down in the Slytherin Commonroom. "Mulciber!"  
Both Avery and Mulciber tripped down the stairs to the boy's dorm on their way down.  
"Avery!" Avery made a salute gesture.  
"And Mulciber!" Mulciber too.  
"Reporting for beauty!" said both.  
"Whatever. I have a riddle for you guys. How do you de-Gryffindor a Gryffindor?"  
"I'm guessing feeding him with one of your weird potions" Avery suggested.  
"That's right"

Later that evening, Sirius stumbled upon two Slytherins on one of his...late evening strolls, thinking of how thirsty he was.  
"Hey, want something to drink?" one of them asked him.  
"Boy do I!"  
The strangers gave him a bottle containing a suspiciously green liquid and ran away. Sirius opened it and drank it.  
"Black what are you drinking?"  
It was McGonagall that had suddenly appeared.  
"I don't know, but it tastes like cloudberry"  
McGonagall had a look at it. "You don't know? Where did you get it?"  
"Some Slytherins gave it to me"  
That was enough reason for the bottle to be confiscated in McGonagalls' opinion. Shortly after she had strolled off, Sirius passed out completely.  
When he woke up an hour later, two older Slytherins were staring down at him.  
"What are you doing down there?" Narcissa asked.  
"I don't know" Sirius sat up and looked around.  
"Well get up!" said Lucius. "You ickle firsties aren't allowed outside the common room after 8!"  
Together they headed for Slytherin, for that was what Sirius was now. Avery and Mulciber had even changed his uniform and re-sorted him while he had been unconscious. Little did they know that he never drank the entire bottle. And little did they know they had left behind his old Gryffindor tie, which lucky enough had been found by Narcissa.

"Everything was tragic" said Lily indifferently. "It had all happened so quickly and by the time anyone had time to react, it was too late"  
Music begins:  
(Tune: Gospel Truth III)

**Dorcas:  
**_Black is a Slytherin  
But since he did not drink the last drop  
He still retained his prankster act  
So thank his lucky star  
But McGonagall wept  
'Cause she had lost a chaser so good  
She had now lost both champion players  
That is what they are  
Though Snape's horrid plan  
Was turned to mush like really old fruit  
Black got less evil everyday  
And that's the quidditch truth_

_ (A/N: This is quite old, but it was crammed with grammar errors and spelling errors, and for some reason I kept going from past to present but that's fixed now, I hope, so I figured it was ready for FFNet now. We need more musical fics!)  
_


	2. Chapter 2

There really is no more evil place than the Slytherin common room. Not only is the place gloomy looking to begin with, but if Dumbledore had any clue of what really went on there he would probably choke on his acid pops.  
A week had passed since Sirius had changed house, but he still had trouble fitting in. He passed some fifth year who was boiling cats.  
"Is that your dinner?"  
If the fifth year then had not been attacked by a cat and then struggled to get it off if his face, he would have given Sirius a long condescending look.  
A couple of girls were plucking the feathers of a starling for their evil potion.  
"Wotcha making?" Sirius asked them.  
One of the girls rolled her eyes and sarcastically said: "Pea soup"  
"Oh. What are the feathers for? Fibres?"  
The girls glared at him until he went away.  
Spotting a cage of canaries and a cage of cats in a corner, he couldn't resist the temptation of opening both to see what would happen.  
For one, it got really noisy. And painful. And tons of cauldrons were knocked over. People ran at every direction, not wanting the potions to corrode their skin. A couple of seconds later only Sirius, Narcissa and Lucius remained.  
"Tisk, tisk, tisk…" said Narcissa. "Why must you always make a mess wherever you go?"  
"I couldn't resist"  
"It's not fit for a Slytherin to release the ingredients" said Lucius.  
Sirius went to the window and gazed at the far octopus.  
"I don't understand. Why does it feel like I don't belong here? I know it doesn't make sense…"  
"I'm sure it would make more sense if you sang about it" said Lucius.  
Sirius thought that was a jolly idea.  
Music begins:  
(Tune: Go The Distance I)

_  
_**Sirius:**  
_I have often dreamed of a far off place  
Where mischief and mayhem will be waiting for me  
And the girls will cheer when they see my face  
And I get the feeling that it's __where I'm meant to be  
Wanna find my way  
Wanna prank the distance  
Wanna misbehave  
And do stuff that's wrong  
I know every mile  
Would be worth my while  
But the old hat told me that it's here that I belong_

"Yup, now it makes sense, just as I predicted" said Lucius just when Narcissa came back (no one had noticed her leaving) with a tie. A gryffindor tie.  
"We don't quite understand, but when we stumbled upon you last week we found this lying next to you" she said, handing the tie to Sirius. "It even has your name on it, so it's no doubt it's yours"  
"But it has the Gryffindor colours"  
"Yes well you don't remember this but you were originally sorted into Gryffindor"  
"So that's why everyone keeps asking me why I'm suddenly in Slytherin…"  
"Anyway, you should probably talk to Dumbledore about this. Remember, the password is Tangerine Bean"  
"And it's a long way so I packed you some lunch and some mittens" said Lucius, handing Sirius a box.  
"But we just had dinner-"  
"Like I said, it's a long way"  
Sirius headed for Dumbledore's office immediately. Since it was such a long way, he started singing again:  
(Tune: Go The Distance II)

**Sirius:**  
_I am on my way  
Wanna prank the distance  
This was really far  
Why is it so long?  
I hope all these miles  
Will be worth my while  
Gonna do all that it takes to find where I belong_

He stopped singing just as he reached the door to the office. When he got no response when knocking on the door, he just took the liberty to go inside to see if there was anyone in there.  
Dumbledore wasn't there, but it appeared as a wax figure of him was sitting by his desk in his place. Sirius figured that since Dumbledore kept it there, maybe it had the magical ability to communicate in his place as well.  
"Oh mighty Dumbledore"  
He wasn't sure how to address him.  
"I'm kinda having problems with…fitting in…ish"  
"Why hello there Sirius, I didn't see you come in! Want some acid pops?" said Dumbledore all of a sudden, grabbing a bowl of acid pops and offering it to Sirius, who was so scared he started running around in circles, screaming 'The alien puppets are taking over the earth god help us all' and didn't stop until Dumbledore shot a calming spell at him.  
"I'm not a puppet, I was just sleeping. I sleep with my eyes open, you know. Anyway, you're having trouble fitting in you say? Well, I'm not surprised because you are actually a Gryffindor after all"  
Sirius gasped.  
"But they are my sworn enemies! I can't be a Gryffindor!"  
"Well that was the house in which you were originally sorted. But then you drank the potion Severus' friends gave you, that potion almost drained you from everything that makes you a Gryffindor. Minerva is so sorry she didn't take you to the Hospital Wing that day she encountered you with that bottle"  
"So…Can't I just be sorted back?"  
"I'm afraid it's not that easy" said Dumbledore, gazing at the far distance. "You see, the hat is programmed not to sort anyone more than twice, or else everybody would wanna be resorted as soon as they were arguing with a best friend or having a crush on someone from another house. But there is one way"  
"I change house without the hat's permission?"  
"No I'm afraid that's impossible"  
"Why? It's just a hat"  
"Just a hat…" Dumbledore chuckled and Sirius' naivety. "Anyway, there is a way. You must prove yourself a true Gryffindor"  
"But how?"  
"You must seek James Potter, nobody is more Gryffindor than he is"  
Sirius immediately skipped out of the office and all the way to the Gryffindor tower, while singing merrily:  
(Tune: Go The Distance III)

**Sirius:**  
_I will beat the hat  
I can prank the distance  
I will face the girls  
God I hate this song  
Wanna be a brat  
I can prank the distance  
Gonna find that Potter and the place where I belong_

_(A/N: Next part is **coming soooon, coming sooon...**)  
_


End file.
